Obviously, this is a logical first-stop in #California for a bunch of out-of-towners. #tourguide #likeabawse (at In-N-Out Burger)
Last night I was sitting on the couch with my cat and a Hoegaarden, right? Right. It was the night before work on a commercial, so I decided to take it easy and watch some Ninja Warrior, when it hit me- I’ve been a Californian for just over a year. Literally, about 4 days over the year mark. It hit me because just 6months ago, I was considering moving back to my beloved Evergreen State (Washington). But now, a much as it pains me, I don’t think I am. Not because the state of California is better in any way, but California has changed me. Is it for the better or for the worse? I don’t know. It’s all relative, isn’t it?
I’m no movie star, I can’t tell anyone that “my people will call your people”, and the most important person I know is my brother. I am, however, the most comfortable in my own skin that I’ve felt in years. I’ve met some new friends down here that have encouraged me to embrace who I was and enjoy being myself. These are the same friends that I have started a website with, one that is a completely uninhibited outlet for creativity. The same website that I am one of the main writers for, something I’ve always wanted to do. The website is coming out mid-March, and is playfully titled “The Movie Fools” and right-out: we have fun. I never would have started this or done anything like this had I stayed in my comfort zone.
I’ve also started exercising more. Not so I can bone random chicks during nights out at Club Douche, or so I can say “bro” and mean it. I’m doing it because I’m actively pursuing my goals now, and I’m not letting anything hold me back.
I’ve still got a long way to go before I’ll have any real clue as to what I want in life, but I am content. I’m happy with my side projects, my weekend gigs, and I’m happy with the people I’ve chosen to be my friends.
I will never consider California home. That honor will always be Washington’s. California is serving, well, as my base of operations for the time being. Enjoy me while you can, California. Before you get a chance to kill me with your horrendous air conditions and your potent personality poisons, I will have made my mark and left you. Know this. I will write you, but don’t you dare call me- ‘cause I’m blocking your ass the moment I peace out.
Until then, however, look forward to seeing my name all over your hideous state, starting on March 19th when I launch my website.
Sometimes I think I’m driving too slow/not at speed limit. But then I remember I’m in California.
True story: I’ve only been here for 3months and I can tell it’s a whole new world down here.
Example 1: Being Single
Yesterday, as I was walking to the local Panera for a goooood ole’ fashion “iced chai and people watchin’” and was in a completely chipper mood- so I decided to smile. I smiled at old people walking dogs, old men riding a child’s bike backwards, and damn near everything in between. This included, of course- the ladies. The ladies, however, did not feel as inclined to return my fair intentions. Why? I am not entirely sure, but apparently they are much too hot for a husky-honky like myself. Even those who weren’t a Kim Kardashian thought I wasn’t worth a “hey dude!” smile. Sorrrrrt of ridiculous! I wan’t even on the prowl- I was just trying to be nice!
Example Dos: Driving
I won’t spend much time on this because everyone knows that California drivers arrrrrrrrre ridiculous. What I don’t get is- why? Why speed around as if everything is a race and why swerve in-and-out of traffic as if your pants are on fire..with..fire ants…? No excuses, you’re being a dick.
Example 3: Common Courtesies
Alright, so this might be a stretch to think that Eastern Washington is supreme-o in ending a request with “please” and responding to kindness with “thank-you”, but here, EVERYONE says “I’ll take” or “give me”, or even a combination of “I’ll take you give” and hardly ever say thank you; also ridiculous.
K, time to be honest, I mostly started for the sole purpose of complaining about the chickas and their inability to not put themselves on a pedestal, but I always feel like complaining in sets of 3’s.